“Crash” Pelosi Auctioning Porsche. Cheap!

Anyone in the market for a high-end sports car? No, it’s not electric! What is this, 2030?



How about a gently used 2021 Porsche Carrera 4S? Very low miles, only driven to and from church every Sunday by a sweet old blue-haired lady.

Ok, I can’t lie. It was driven to and from the bar by an inside trader, and the interior may smell slightly of vodka.

Plus, it might have a couple of minor cosmetic scratches. It should buff right out!

Ok, I’m lying again. This is Paul Pelosi’s car. you know, Grandma Vodka’s husband? Famed inside trader? The same car he slammed into a Jeep, landing him with a dui, even though he only got one day of jail time and three years of probation. Rules sure are different for everyday mooks like us, aren’t they?

At any rate, Pelosi is putting the vehicle up for auction, and it could be yours if the price is right! Haven’t I heard that before? Anyway, check this out from Outkick:

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Pelosi was driving intoxicated after attending a party and crashed his 2021 Porsche Carrera 4S with a 2014 Jeep at an intersection.

Paul, who pleaded guilty to a DUI charge on Tuesday, was quick to ditch his ride from the PR nightmare and has put it up for auction. According to Copart.com, a vehicle matching Pelosi’s from his late-night collision on May 28 has been listed for auction, at an estimated retail value of $168,576.22.

What a deal! I don’t know how much the auction site is asking, or if they are taking bids as I am currently not in the market for a high-end fixer upper. Plus, gas powered cars are so 2020, am I right?

Since I don’t have the technical knowledge to do body work, I would have the only Porsche in town with duct tape holding the bumper on. Classy!

Aside from the major dings on the side and undercarriage, which also match the spots where Pelosi’s Porsche was struck, the sportscar is practically brand new, and untouched since it left the crash scene.

With only 2,738.7 miles on the odometer, the 2021 model is ready to hit the Napa roads again.

“Pelosi’s vehicle identification number is redacted in police reports, and a Carfax vehicle history report on the VIN of the car for sale does not show the owner’s name,” relayed the Fox report.

You can redact all you want; people will sniff out the truth eventually. There is little question this is Mr. Nancy Pelosi’s car. Major dings on the side and undercarriage? Sounds like they are describing Nancy! I kill me!

What a shame; only 2738 miles on the odometer. Paul didn’t even have a chance to break it in before just outright breaking it.

Just hit the auction site, write a check, and a little prime and a few coats of paint later and this will make a fine first car for some rich coastal elite’s kid.

Not sure how they will get the vodka smell out though. Febreze maybe?

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