Over the weekend, “Saturday Night Live” launched their season premier where they shockingly turned on Democrats, mocking them for their total failures in recent months.
Recently added cast member James Austin Johnson shredded President Joe Biden for his bogus cadence where he leans into the microphone with his crazy eyes. The skit targeted Biden for his massive flops when it came to passing the $4.7 trillion infrastructure and spending package.
“How’s everybody doing? What’s cooking? What’s good?” Johnson’s Biden says. “How was everyone’s summer? Mine was bad. Not Cuomo bad but definitely not Afghanistan good. Everybody keeps razzing me about that drone strike. But on the bright side, I went the entire summer without falling down the stairs once. It’s pretty darn good.”
“Unlike our last president, I try to stay out of the limelight — like an oil change you don’t think about me until you absolutely have to. Right now Americans need me, Democrats need me. Got major infrastructure and historic social bills I have to get past. So now I’m bringing together the Democrats like Voltron. Sure, they’re all different colors but fundamentally, they’re robots” he says.
Johnson, who is playing Biden, then introduces Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ), who was acted out by Cecily Strong: “What do I want from this bill? I’ll never tell. I didn’t come to Congress to make friends, and so far, mission accomplished.”
Biden responds, “Is it just me or does she look like all the characters from Scooby Doo at the same time?”
WATCH:
The Daily Wire summarizes the rest of the skit:
He then introduces Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), played by Aidy Bryant, who Biden calls a “pain in my keister.”
“I am a Democrat from West Virginia. If I vote for electric cars, they are going to kill me,” Bryant says.
Biden then introduces members of the progressive caucus, including Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN), played by Ego Nwodim, who says, “Thank you Joe, for not calling me Kamala.”
“For those of you who don’t know me, I was designed in a lab to give Tucker Carlson a heart attack,” she says.
Then Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), played by Melissa Villaseñor, appears, saying, “It’s me, the Cruella of the Met Gala. I wore the dress that said, ‘Tax the rich.’ Then spent all night partying with the rich. Oops.”
Biden then tries to get the two sides to work out their differences, telling them “we’re all saying the same damn thing.”
“That’s right, I’m saying we need at least $300 billion in clean energy tax credits,” AOC says.
Then Manchin replies, “And I’m saying zero.”
“See — same page,” Biden says.
“There’s a lot of good stuff in this bill like 12 weeks of paid family leave,” Biden says.
“Six days,” Sinema says.
“Six whole days of paid —” Biden says.
“Unpaid,” Manchin says.
“Unpaid six whole days,” Biden says.
“Nights,” Sinema says.
“Six nights of unpaid family half leave,” Biden says.
When Biden asks what exactly progressives want in exchange, AOC says, “What about a child tax credit?”
“Great idea, why don’t we say children don’t pay taxes,” the president responds. “It’s a lot of math.”
Manchin breaks in to say, “If we give children too much leeway, how are we going to get them to work in the mines. We need their tiny hands to dig. All the big pieces are gone. We need kid fingers to gather the little pieces.”
The skit continued, with the two sides arguing. Finally, Biden asks Sinema to “just tell us … what do you like?”
“Yellow Starbursts. The film The Polar Express. And when someone eats fish on an airplane,” she says.
Then AOC asks, “Can’t we compromise on anything? Isn’t something better than nothing?”
Sinema replies, “Look, as a wine drinking, bisexual triathlete, I know what the average American wants. They want to be put on hold when they call 911. They want bridges that just stop, car falls down. They want water so thick you can eat it with a fork. And I will fight for that, no matter what. Unless my foot hurts, then I will go back to Arizona.”
Sinema left Washington, D.C. on Friday, in the middle of stalled negotiations, to reportedly see a doctor after having broken her foot during a marathon over the summer.
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